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You know what you “should” be doing with food.
So why does it still feel so hard?
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For women who are tired of thinking about food, trying to “be good”, losing control, promising themselves they'll start again tomorrow - and wondering why knowing better never seems to be enough.
My work offers a different way of understanding these patterns - through the body, the nervous system, and the relationship you've learned to have with food, your body, and yourself.
You may wake up in the morning completely certain that today will be different. After what happened last night, you know exactly what you want to do, and you genuinely don't want to end up in the same place again.
And maybe the day goes perfectly fine. You get on with work, answer messages, make dinner and take care of everything that needs to be done. You may even feel quite good about food that day because you've eaten the way you intended to and haven't really thought that much about it.
But then the day begins to settle, you're tired, and food starts taking up more space in your head. You find yourself opening the cupboard even though you've already told yourself you're not hungry, walking away because you know you don't really want anything, and then coming back because somehow the conversation still isn't over. Sometimes you can even hear yourself thinking don't do this, you know where this ends while you're already reaching for the food.
And sometimes it isn't even the eating itself that takes up the most space. It's everything that goes on in your head around it, - thinking “I’ve tried EVERYTHING and nothing works for me… Why can’t I just leave it alone? Maybe I’ll just have one. Well, I’ve messed up now anyways…” and the familiar “I’ll start again tomorrow…”.
And it's probably not because you haven't tried, - you've counted calories, tracked macros, followed meal plans, rigid rules and diets, and promised yourself more times than you can remember that this time you'll actually stick to it. And now you may know more about food and nutrition than you ever wanted to know.
I think this is one of the most confusing parts of struggling with food: You can know perfectly well what you want to do and still find that knowing doesn't change what happens in the moment.
And this is where I think we need to look a little further back in the story, because over time I've come to see that the eating itself is often not where it begins. The food and eating are only the symptoms.
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When Being in Your Body Feels Like Something You Have to Manage
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You probably don't think of yourself as someone who spends her days “managing” her body. This way of living is much more likely to show up in small, ordinary moments: Noticing your stomach while you're getting dressed, wondering whether your jeans feel tighter than they did last week, keeping a quiet mental account of what you've eaten, or weighing yourself in the morning and letting that decide whether this is a good or a bad day. The though-chatter goes on repeat:
- I look disgusting today.
- I need to lose weight before I wear that.
- I'll buy clothes when I've lost weight.
- I can't let anyone take a picture of me like this.
- I was so good yesterday so why hasn't the scale moved?
- How did I let myself get here?
Or the almost automatic promise to yourself: “Just this once, I’ll start again tomorrow…”, when all you ever start is another round in the same pattern.Â
None of these things necessarily feel significant on their own, and after years of doing them they can be so common that you barely notice them anymore. But together they can create a life where some part of your attention is almost always turned back towards food, eating and your body - checking how it looks, evaluating how you've eaten, noticing whether anything has changed and deciding what you need to do about it.
And somewhere along the way, the body can stop feeling quite so much like the place you're living your life from, and start feeling more like something you are responsible for managing while you're trying to live it.
Why Trying Harder Keeps Bringing You Back To The Same Place
When food starts feeling out of control, it’s natural that your instinct is to try to “get back in control”. You make a plan, decide what you're going to eat, what you're going to erase from your diet, perhaps that there will be no more snacking for a while, and after an evening or a weekend where things haven't gone the way you wanted, you make the familiar promise that tomorrow “you'll start again”, followed by “This time, I’m going to stick with it til I’ve lost all the weight”...Â
And that decision can genuinely make you feel better, because there is something relieving about having a plan again, knowing what you're going to do and feeling hopeful that this time you'll actually stick to it.
The problem is that sooner or later the plan has to meet ordinary life:
You're more hungry than you expected, dinner is different, you're tired or stressed, or you simply eat the piece of cake you had decided you weren't going to have.
And something that could have remained one fairly unremarkable choice can very quickly turn into “Fuc*-it, I've ruined it now anyway, so I might as well start again tomorrow…”.
So the next morning, tightening the grip by adding more rigidity and control, feels like the obvious answer.
And this is where the cycle becomes so difficult to see from the inside:
 The thing that gives you the feeling of getting back in control can also be part of what keeps you stuck in The Diet Cycle and brings you back to the moments where you feel you've lost control once again while feeling like a failure.
A Different Place To Begin
In this work, we don't begin by assuming that the eating itself is the problem we need to get rid of.
We look at the whole picture around it:
What tends to happen before and after, how much restriction or control has been present, whether you've actually been eating enough, and what food may be doing for you in the moments where it becomes difficult.
We also look beyond food, because your eating doesn't exist separately from the rest of you.
Your physiology matters, nutrition, hormones, sleep, stress and the way that you are living your everyday life matters.
And so do your emotions, learned patterns, the way you experience your body and the relationship you've developed with yourself.
All of these things can shape what happens around food - and what you need in order for those patterns to actually change.
From there, we can begin building more room to notice what is happening, respond to what your body is telling you, and move through a difficult meal or a difficult day without immediately turning it into something you need to fix.
The goal isn't to become better at controlling yourself, but to build a steady foundation inside and outside of yourself, together with a relationship with yourself where you no longer need control in order to feel okay
When You're Getting Through Life More Than Living It
For many women there comes a point where they begin to realize how much of their life is actually being lived around food and their body, even when nobody else can see it.
From the outside, everything can look completely normal. You go to work, take care of your family, see people you love and do all the things that make up an ordinary life.
But underneath all of that, there can be this almost constant awareness of yourself.
Changing your outfit three times before leaving the house because everything suddenly feels wrong. Pulling your shirt away from your stomach when you sit down. Seeing someone thinner and immediately comparing your body to hers.
Meeting someone you haven't seen for a while and wondering whether the first thing they'll notice is that you've gained weight.
And sometimes it isn't only what you think about your body, but what you're afraid other people might be thinking too.
They've probably noticed I've gained weight. Do they think I've let myself go? What if they see what I'm eating and think I shouldn't be eating that?Â
You can find yourself worrying about other people's opinions of your body before they've even said a word.
And then there are all the things you quietly begin to avoid, or experience differently, because of it. Standing behind someone when a photograph is taken, or deleting it the second you see yourself.
Not wanting to go swimming because you already know how much of the day will be spent thinking about your body once you're there.
Not wanting your partner to see you naked, or finding yourself watching your own body from the outside when you're supposed to be close to someone you love.
And all of this is happening alongside the food. Keeping track of what you've eaten. Thinking about what you're allowed to eat later. Regretting what happened yesterday. Promising yourself you'll do better tomorrow. Having dinner and then continuing the conversation about dinner in your head for the rest of the evening.
I think this is often where the longing becomes much bigger than simply wanting to stop overeating or giving in to cravings.
You want to eat and move on with your day. You want to get dressed without your body deciding how you feel about yourself that morning.
You want to be in the photograph, go swimming, have sex, meet an old friend, sit down without thinking about your stomach - and actually be there for your own life while it's happening.
At some point, it becomes less about wanting to think less about food and more about wanting all of that attention back for your life.
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What Freedom Can Actually Look Like
Freedom around food can be surprisingly ordinary. You can have chocolate in the house and realize a week later that you completely forgot it was there. You can eat something you really enjoy without it turning into I've ruined it now anyway, and one meal can simply be one meal instead of the beginning of another “bad day” before you “start again tomorrow.”
The constant conversation can begin to quiet down too. You're not spending half the day deciding what you're allowed to eat later, mentally adding up what you've already had, wondering whether you should compensate, or making another plan for Monday.
Monday can just become Monday again.Â
You can be hungry without immediately wondering what's wrong with you for being hungry, and you can make choices around food without every one of them becoming evidence of whether you've been “good” or “bad.”
And perhaps some of the things you've been postponing until “when I've lost the weight” can begin to belong to your life again:
You can get dressed without changing three times because your stomach looks wrong that morning, meet someone you haven't seen for a while without your first thought being they're going to notice I've gained weight, be in the photograph without immediately looking for everything that's wrong with your body, go swimming, be close to someone you love, sit however you're comfortable sitting, - and actually be in the experience instead of watching your body warily through somebody else's eyes.
And as the old cycle begins to loosen, taking care of your body can come from a very different place too. You can eat in a way that supports your health, build strength, move your body and make changes because they genuinely serve you and you love how they make you feel, rather than because you're trying to undo what you ate yesterday or finally earn the right to feel okay in your body.
Your body can change as a result of how you're living, without your entire life having to revolve around trying to change it.
I think this is often what women mean when they tell me they just want to feel normal around food again. They want the overeating to stop, the noise to quiet down, they want to trust themselves around food without needing another set of rules to do it, and they want their body to stop deciding how they feel and how much of their own life they get to be part of.
Ways To Begin
If you've recognized yourself in what you've read here, there are two ways you can begin.
You may want to understand more about what's happening first, or you may already know that you're ready for support in changing it.
Both are good places to start.
Start with the free 5-day course
If you want to understand your patterns better first, start here.
I've created a free five-day course for women who know a lot about food and nutrition, but still find themselves struggling with cravings, overeating and the constant effort to get back in control.
Over five days, we'll look at why knowing what to do doesn't always help in the moment, how trying harder to control food can become part of the cycle itself, and what may actually be happening before you find yourself reaching for food.
If you've spent a long time wondering why you keep ending up back in the same place, this is where I would begin.
[START THE FREE 5-DAY COURSE]
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Talk to me about working together
If you already know you want help changing this, you're welcome to book a conversation with me.
We'll talk about what's been happening for you, what you would like to be different, and what may be keeping your particular pattern going. I'll also tell you more about The Body of Freedom Method and what working together could look like.
Booking a conversation doesn't commit you to anything. It simply gives us a chance to meet, talk about where you are and where you want to go, and see whether working together feels like the right next step.
What Women Say After Doing This Work
"After working with Camilla, I have a completely different relationship with myself and my body. The struggles I used to have around food make so much more sense to me now, and I feel far more at ease in myself than I have in years. That investment was so worth it!"
- Helen M.
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"Anyone who struggles with food, overeating, body image, or constantly feeling at war with themselves should get Camilla's program on a prescription."
- Eva U.
"If you're anything like me and feel like you've already tried everything, this work offers a completely different way of understanding the struggle. For the first time, I stopped feeling like I needed another plan and started feeling like I was actually getting to the root of what had been keeping me stuck."
- Louise S.
"I've become a happier and more present wife and mother. Food takes up far less space in my mind, I'm losing weight without feeling like I'm on a diet, and I have more quality of life, better health, and more joy than I thought was possible. I finally feel like I can move toward my goals without putting my life on hold in the process."
- Anne O.
"This is so much more than another program or another method for fixing food. It has given me a greater sense of confidence, peace, and trust in myself, and that has affected far more than my eating."
- Stina L
"I make better choices around food without feeling like I'm constantly thinking about it. Healthy habits have become more natural, but what surprised me most was how much easier it became to listen to myself and take care of myself in everyday life."
- Lina M.
